Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
