Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
