Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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