I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
