This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
