Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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