I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
