So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
