Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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