so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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