it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
He uses pillows to masturbate.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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