I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize