How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
