is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
