I murdered the dance floor call the cops
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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