Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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