i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
