Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
