If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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