Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
this boner is exhausting
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize