he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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