Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Randomize
