69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
