I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
