My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize