It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
