those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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