it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
