just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
