bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
