I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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