dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
