There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
