Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
