I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Randomize
