she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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