Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
