We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
