life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
3pm strippers are depressing
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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