New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
