So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
