They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
