Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
