Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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