I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
