You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Randomize
