Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
