You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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