have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize