i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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