If i come over, it means nothing
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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