sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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