If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
