i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
do nipples grow back?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
