NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
