this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
