very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
