I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
