why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
