he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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