I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
two words...techno handjob
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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