We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
if i died would you start the facebook group?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
