Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Randomize
