There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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