she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize